How To Be A Super Employee
I don’t like to leave unfinished work overnight, but I don’t get paid for overtime (and the overlords aren’t playing very nice, more on that later). So I’ll check you later (literally).
How Hot Is It
It got up to 60°F today, for the first time this year, I used my air conditioning.
What Is A Fortune Cutie
A Fortune Cutie is not the same as a Fortune Cookie. Instead of giving you a broad statement about something that may or may not happen in the future, it tells you what mood you are going to be in for the rest of the day. It’s an easy process, even easier if you can find a box of Cuties with faces drawn on them already (if not then step #0 is draw faces on Cuties).
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How Long Has It Been Since I Had Guac
Carne Asada Burrito, compliments of Taco King…
Where Is My White Whale
I’ve been looking for these Giant Cheetos for 2 weeks now. I’ve been tirelessly searching every grocery store and gas station for them. And now, my day has finally come, and everything is coming up Felix.
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How Does This Look Like Me
One of my underlings, Sunshine, has attempted to draw my likeness on a Cutie Clementine (a cutie on a cutie). While I appreciate the effort, it looks nothing like me. Firstly I part my hair on the side, not the middle, my glasses are rectangular, not circular, my nose isn’t that big and my mouth isn’t that wide.
How Offensive Is Bon Iver
Out of all the stuff that I’ve played at work, nothing has garnered more complaints than Bon Iver. I’ve played more than one Shaq album, and Hulk Hogan multiple times. Yet a mostly acoustic folk album is apparently the worst (to untrained ears attuned the musical stylings of Pink).
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